Dinner and Drinks, On Who?

Fellas, are you tired of footing the bill every time yall go out? Are you tired of being the first one to pick up the check when it comes?  Do you think she is a fraud screaming she is independent but won't pay the bill? Do you feel like you are being used for a hot meal and drinks?...... Well guess what?... You are lucky that is ALL you're paying for.

Do you really think having sex with you every night is worth me fu*king up my $50 dollar blow out? I know you love long silky hair sooo give me the money for that instead of paying for dinner. Not to mention, I know how you don't like it hairy down there, so my wax only cost me $100, I accept checks and direct deposits. Also, I had to go get my mani and pedi done 'cause you hate chipped polish but that's only $40 since I didn't do acrylic 'cause you hate fake anything, soooo can you give me the money for that as well instead of paying for dinner? One more thing boo, I know I said it was a favor at first to run your errands but since we getting technical.... As an assistant I charge a daily rate, this can be discussed at your leisure so you may determine how much of my free time you want me to dedicate to your bullshit..I mean errands. I can go on, but I won't!

So the solution is.. Pay for my dinners and drinks while you sit across from me in your fitted hat that's covering your head 'cause you didn't feel like getting a hair cut along with your white/black tee that looks like it took a lot of thought to put on, along with your sneakers looking like you are leaving straight from dinner to go hoop, and Shut the fu*ck up... or you can start being the lady in this relationship and start doing my dishes, cooking, cleaning, and running my errands.  Men don't realize we put up with alot from them and the least they can do is pay for a dinner.  Do you know how many times we have turned our heads from the "other" women you are entertaining as well?  Maybe that's why you're complaining 'cause your paying for too many dinners and can't catch a break.  I'm not saying women should never pay, but I am saying men should not be complaining because she didn't! Oh and ladies, you can try to impress a man by proving a point that you're not like the other chicks who won't pay but it won't prevent him from treating you like them.  If a man wants you, he wants you!  Think about how many men you have offered to pay dinner for and think about how many of them are still around? .... I'll wait....... *waiting*.... actually... I got something to do. BYE!

*Disclaimer* Ladies this does not apply if he has paid for a few dinners and ask you to cook and you decline.  If you can not cook, you better order the hell out of some food and put it in some pots as if you did or do some house chores. :) This does not apply to raggedy hoes, if you are steady footing the bill for a raggedy hoe, I'd like for you to invest in an escort instead, at least she will make you look good! Also ladies, it is automatic that you pay for his dinner on special holidays such as "HIS BIRTHDAY" and.... (*thinking*).. THAT'S IT!


Have a wonderful day!



I'm BACK!!!!!! :)

Pressure Makes Diamonds-NOT RELATIONSHIPS

Warning: Putting too much pressure on  a man will not turn him into your man, it will turn him into a punk as$  bitch!  Have you ever noticed how quick a man will get ghost on you after you ask him that relationship defining question, "What are we?... Are we just talking or are we together yet?....Where is this relationship going?... Are we exclusive?  Those questions will make a man grab his balls and run to the next chick. Now he is ducking you calls, he is making excuses not to see you, and straight up avoiding you. He has you feeling rejected, neglected, and slightly insecure all because you needed clarification on where you realtionshp with him is going and it is probably safe to say nowhere now. Men don't like pressure unless it's on their d*ck.  Don't take it personal, men scary!  He is most likely scared of commitment or just does not want to commit to you.




As a child it is taught to females to be gentle, to be loving, and to show feelings and emotions while males are taught to be rough, be tough, and show no signs of weakness or emotion.  ("You bet not cry boy or imma bust ya in ya chest!") Therefore, we can not fault a man for not knowing what to do with his feelings for a woman especially when she has the capability to make him weak in the knees, have a soft heart for her, and show emotions (all the things he was taught not to do).  Women happen to know what they want out of a relationship before a man can decide what he is going to eat for breakfast 'cause we test our waters more often than men when it comes to relationships.  Our hearts have been broken time and time again and we manage to pick up enough pieces to carelessly love the next man.  We have been lead down many misleading paths of love only to find that it was a dead end that lead to nowhere... but we washed our eyes with a few tears to see clearly the direction we need to go to get back to "I CAN'T STAND MEN AVENUE."  For men, dealing with heartache is not as easy.  When a man is hurt for the first time, he is destroyed, causing him to build a wall so thick around his heart it will take a few years of hammering by different women to successfully knock it down.  His first heartbreak will cause him to run from commitment and you when you even think about pressuring him to commit.




The saying is "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus," meaning that we are from two different planets and see almost everythig with different views.  We are almost NEVER on the same page because wome tend to read the entire book while men are still reading the index page.  We must learn as women to be patient with men and understand they have a different mentality when it comes to down to relationships.  When you put pressure on a relationship that is not quite ready, you are setting yourself up for failure. Women need to let the man control the pace of a relationship in order for him to feel comfortable enough to let his guard down with us.  Do not ruin a good thing because you are impatient and feel the need to speed things up by putting a title on things, just make sure you play you role and play it well.  If you really want him to commit to you, don't play girlfriend if you are NOT his girlfriend.  Don't be so available to him like you would be if you were his girlfriend. Let him see what it is like without you being around as much, get MIA on his ass. Make him sense that another man COULD be a threat.  They key is to MAKE him want you to be his girlfriend by not being his girlfriend.  Men like a challenge and they also like to chase...but not so much he runs out of breath.  Make him feel like he has you at his finger tips but definitely not in his palms.  Give him a little but make him give you a lot (sexually, financially, however you play your game).  He will finally feel a NEED to make you his girlfried and will be asking you "What are we?... Are we just talking or are we together yet?....Where is this relationship going?... Are we exclusive? If he doesn't.... HE' JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! BITCH GIVE UP!!!!! (I'm sorry).




I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! :) Excuse the font.. I effed some ish up and don't feel like fixing it.. YOU CAN STILL READ The shit.. Have a great day! :)

When A Woman's Fed Up

R.Kelly said it best, "when a woman's fed up, there ain't nothing you can do about it!" Have you ever been so head over heels for a guy that you let him get away with everything, no matter how bad it makes you hurt inside? You keep letting him get away with his obvious lies because you have faith that he will (one day) change. When will you ladies learn that Ni99as ain't shit and they will do to you what you allow them to do to?


It takes a woman to get dogged all the way out before she finally says "I'm done!" Why must this be the process to let go of a not good for shit dude? I'm sure he showed you signs in the beginning of your relationship that he wasn't shit, but you was too stupid to notice them. Let me give you examples:

1. He doesn't make you a priority, you are his last minute plan, but you are fooled because you are just happy to get a second of his time, even if its after 1am. NOT ACCEPTABLE! Cut him off until he makes an effort to put you at the top of his list of things to do! Wait, not "to do" but you know what I mean.

2. He is only reachable when he wants to be reachable, meaning he disappears and has every excuse under the sun of why his phone was off. "Baby, I was in the studio, my phone died, I left my phone, my phone broke, my phone was on silent, etc." These excuses can be true, but if it happens consistently at 3pm everyday, you need to CUT HIM OFF until he learns to be more available to you and stop feeding you with bullshit ass excuses.

3. You never go to his house, but he always welcome to yours. Why is that acceptable? You make it okay because you "prefer" to be in the comfort of "your" home when you know down deep you really want to see how he is living or better yet, WHO is living with him. You need to go at least once just to know. If he refuses you to see where he lives, you need to refuse any other contact with him because he is hiding something. CUT HIM OFF!

The list could go on but you get the point! You are landing yourself a full time side chick position. If you want to be his girl, you need act like you are worth it, if not, shall you forever hold your peace and continue to wait your turn for his attention instead of wasting your time waiting for a change in him. The only way you can change A MAN is to change THE MAN! Stop sticking around until you just can't bare his antics anymore, you can save time and find a worthy man with all the time you waste on a guy who actively shows you he ain't shit.

Now for the fellas, sometimes you tend to bite off more than you can chew, let me explain. You find a girl that you are initially interested in, she does everything you want a woman to do, but its just not challenging enough. You then drift off and become less interested and treat her any kind of way because you know that she will always be there. Once she finally comes to her senses and kicks you to the curb, you then realize a lil too late that you just eff'd up something that could have been great. Now you want to do all the things that she has always been asking you to do...(Spend time and give her attention) but now she ain't hearing none of that! My advice to you is you can try your hand but she will always have some type of resentment toward you and she will never be the same toward you because you played around with her time and heart when she was nothing but good to you. To avoid this, be straight up with her, tell her you're not ready for a relationship but when you are, you will let her know. A lot of you men think a woman can't handle the turth but in honesty, MEN CAN'T! The truth eats more at a man that it does a woman.  The truth may upset a woman but she will not resent you.  You can play around with the chicken heads all day and night, but not the one you  see being THE ONE for you, "cause when a woman's fed up, there aint nothing you can do about it!"
 
 I've included my favorite lyrics from the song that basically say what I just said but in a R.Kelly artistic flow lol :)
 
 

You can cry a river
'Till an ocean starts to form, yeah
But she will always remember
Cuz she's a woman scorned
And if you ever get her back
It will never be the same
She's cuttin' the corners of her eyes
Every time she see your face
Now your trust is out the door
She don't want you no more
You used to tell your boys, not me
And she would always be there for you
If you had took the time to see
What that woman meant to you
Is what the mirror said to me

Click the link to download the song!
When A Woman's Fed Up (Radio Version)

To Hell With Cupid

First I'd like to say Happy Valentine's Day, even though most of us are not so happy on this day. A lot of you are realizing the relationship you thought you were in is not as serious as you thought. Today you might have found out you were a side dish and not the main course or maybe your man just didn't give enough shit about you to make you feel special on this day. Whatever the case may be, don't let this determine your outlook on love and life.


Valentine's day is for suckers, people who need validation in their relationships (most of us). Some people take this day serious and some do not. If your man did nothing for you on this day, do not hold it against him IF he makes you feel special everyday. If a man only makes you feel special on this day with a basic ass dinner and a movie, I hope you do not drop your panties soon after. Those are common things you should do in a relationship anyway, not just on Valentine's Day. Women you need to raise your standards with men and stop letting them WOW you with things they are already supposed to do. It kills me every year on Valentine's day when I see a man and a woman walking hand and hand into a movie and she has the biggest smile on her face as if she is walking down the aisle to get married. Now, I do not know if they had mind blowing sex before hand or not, but I'm sure she was just happy they were going on a date.

If you do have someone NEW in your life and you did not put it out there to the person you are dealing with how important Valentine's Day is to you, then you can not be mad at him if he does nothing for you. Men sometimes need to be guided and given directions on how to make you happy. If you sat back and threw hints at him and he did nothing and made no effort to do anything for you on this day, do not write of him off just yet... Again, this is a made up holiday for suckers and he may not be a sucker... Especially if he makes you feel special on other days besides this day. If you told him and he gave you a lot of excuses of why he can not fulfill your needs on this day, I believe it is safe to say "He ain't shit!"

If you are single, this day should be just another single ass day in your single ass life. Why is it that you wait 'til Valentine's day to get depressed about being alone? If you have kids, family, and friends, make this day about them and stop worrying about not having a man. He will come at some point in your life, JUST NOT TODAY! Bad Timing...(Evil laugh). *see last blog for Bad timing reference*

Anyway, have a good day, treat yourself to something if nobody else will and go see Valentine wit your single friends and have a good laugh... To hell with Cupid and ni99as

Do You Know What Time It Is?

How many of you have been in a "situation" (aka non-committed relationship) with someone, and you think your "situation" is about to go to the next level.... until they hit you with the "I'm not ready for a girlfriend right now?" You start to think there is something wrong with you or there is another girl (could be). You start thinking "what can I do to change his mind?.....Should I lose weight?..Should I jiggle his balls in my mouth?...Should I show him I am girlfriend material and cook his favorite meal?... Or should I break out my sexiest lingerie and ride him like a wild bull while jiggling his balls in my mouth? 


The answer is none of the above, the ni99a aint ready! Stop trying to read between the lines because he said what he meant and there are no lines to read between. Either he does not want YOU to be his girlfriend or he really just does not have TIME for one.  Plain and simple! There is this thing that works against us that women do not understand called "TIMING." A lot of relationships do not work because of bad TIMING. There is nothing you can do to change or make it go faster, it is something you have to deal with. You can wait around and hope that he sees you are the one for him, or you can leave and make him realize what he is missing out on. He then may realize his clock said 6pm and not 6am and come back for you. I am not saying if you leave him he will come back to you when he is ready but at least you are not waiting on his clock to sync up with yours wich it may never do so. 

So stop putting the pressure on your man when he says that right now is not a good TIME for a relationship or if he mentions anything that deals with Time.. even if he sounds like he is about to say Time and just says Tim, just let that man be! Take a few steps back and protect your heart, but keep in contact with him if this is somebody you really want in your life.  You can always be there for him but you can not force him into something he is not ready for (a relationship).  Forcing yourself on to him is only going to hurt YOU and push him away from you.  He told you straight up now is not the time so go sit down somewhere and respect his decision.


(Just a random rant about Timing because I have heard this story way too much in the past month)