When A Woman's Fed Up

R.Kelly said it best, "when a woman's fed up, there ain't nothing you can do about it!" Have you ever been so head over heels for a guy that you let him get away with everything, no matter how bad it makes you hurt inside? You keep letting him get away with his obvious lies because you have faith that he will (one day) change. When will you ladies learn that Ni99as ain't shit and they will do to you what you allow them to do to?


It takes a woman to get dogged all the way out before she finally says "I'm done!" Why must this be the process to let go of a not good for shit dude? I'm sure he showed you signs in the beginning of your relationship that he wasn't shit, but you was too stupid to notice them. Let me give you examples:

1. He doesn't make you a priority, you are his last minute plan, but you are fooled because you are just happy to get a second of his time, even if its after 1am. NOT ACCEPTABLE! Cut him off until he makes an effort to put you at the top of his list of things to do! Wait, not "to do" but you know what I mean.

2. He is only reachable when he wants to be reachable, meaning he disappears and has every excuse under the sun of why his phone was off. "Baby, I was in the studio, my phone died, I left my phone, my phone broke, my phone was on silent, etc." These excuses can be true, but if it happens consistently at 3pm everyday, you need to CUT HIM OFF until he learns to be more available to you and stop feeding you with bullshit ass excuses.

3. You never go to his house, but he always welcome to yours. Why is that acceptable? You make it okay because you "prefer" to be in the comfort of "your" home when you know down deep you really want to see how he is living or better yet, WHO is living with him. You need to go at least once just to know. If he refuses you to see where he lives, you need to refuse any other contact with him because he is hiding something. CUT HIM OFF!

The list could go on but you get the point! You are landing yourself a full time side chick position. If you want to be his girl, you need act like you are worth it, if not, shall you forever hold your peace and continue to wait your turn for his attention instead of wasting your time waiting for a change in him. The only way you can change A MAN is to change THE MAN! Stop sticking around until you just can't bare his antics anymore, you can save time and find a worthy man with all the time you waste on a guy who actively shows you he ain't shit.

Now for the fellas, sometimes you tend to bite off more than you can chew, let me explain. You find a girl that you are initially interested in, she does everything you want a woman to do, but its just not challenging enough. You then drift off and become less interested and treat her any kind of way because you know that she will always be there. Once she finally comes to her senses and kicks you to the curb, you then realize a lil too late that you just eff'd up something that could have been great. Now you want to do all the things that she has always been asking you to do...(Spend time and give her attention) but now she ain't hearing none of that! My advice to you is you can try your hand but she will always have some type of resentment toward you and she will never be the same toward you because you played around with her time and heart when she was nothing but good to you. To avoid this, be straight up with her, tell her you're not ready for a relationship but when you are, you will let her know. A lot of you men think a woman can't handle the turth but in honesty, MEN CAN'T! The truth eats more at a man that it does a woman.  The truth may upset a woman but she will not resent you.  You can play around with the chicken heads all day and night, but not the one you  see being THE ONE for you, "cause when a woman's fed up, there aint nothing you can do about it!"
 
 I've included my favorite lyrics from the song that basically say what I just said but in a R.Kelly artistic flow lol :)
 
 

You can cry a river
'Till an ocean starts to form, yeah
But she will always remember
Cuz she's a woman scorned
And if you ever get her back
It will never be the same
She's cuttin' the corners of her eyes
Every time she see your face
Now your trust is out the door
She don't want you no more
You used to tell your boys, not me
And she would always be there for you
If you had took the time to see
What that woman meant to you
Is what the mirror said to me

Click the link to download the song!
When A Woman's Fed Up (Radio Version)

To Hell With Cupid

First I'd like to say Happy Valentine's Day, even though most of us are not so happy on this day. A lot of you are realizing the relationship you thought you were in is not as serious as you thought. Today you might have found out you were a side dish and not the main course or maybe your man just didn't give enough shit about you to make you feel special on this day. Whatever the case may be, don't let this determine your outlook on love and life.


Valentine's day is for suckers, people who need validation in their relationships (most of us). Some people take this day serious and some do not. If your man did nothing for you on this day, do not hold it against him IF he makes you feel special everyday. If a man only makes you feel special on this day with a basic ass dinner and a movie, I hope you do not drop your panties soon after. Those are common things you should do in a relationship anyway, not just on Valentine's Day. Women you need to raise your standards with men and stop letting them WOW you with things they are already supposed to do. It kills me every year on Valentine's day when I see a man and a woman walking hand and hand into a movie and she has the biggest smile on her face as if she is walking down the aisle to get married. Now, I do not know if they had mind blowing sex before hand or not, but I'm sure she was just happy they were going on a date.

If you do have someone NEW in your life and you did not put it out there to the person you are dealing with how important Valentine's Day is to you, then you can not be mad at him if he does nothing for you. Men sometimes need to be guided and given directions on how to make you happy. If you sat back and threw hints at him and he did nothing and made no effort to do anything for you on this day, do not write of him off just yet... Again, this is a made up holiday for suckers and he may not be a sucker... Especially if he makes you feel special on other days besides this day. If you told him and he gave you a lot of excuses of why he can not fulfill your needs on this day, I believe it is safe to say "He ain't shit!"

If you are single, this day should be just another single ass day in your single ass life. Why is it that you wait 'til Valentine's day to get depressed about being alone? If you have kids, family, and friends, make this day about them and stop worrying about not having a man. He will come at some point in your life, JUST NOT TODAY! Bad Timing...(Evil laugh). *see last blog for Bad timing reference*

Anyway, have a good day, treat yourself to something if nobody else will and go see Valentine wit your single friends and have a good laugh... To hell with Cupid and ni99as

Your Vagina Is Not Made of Gold

I found this article from AOL Black Voices in 2007 and would like to share it with those who may not have had a chance to read it, and some of us need to read it again.

Please don't get offended read with an open mind. This statement is from a man on Black Voices. It's painful, but true. This doesn't just apply to black men and black women, WOMEN AND MEN PERIOD! Just Read!

Bottom line - - if I sleep with a woman that I don't know or care about, SEX is NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago). That kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's

through. He isn't sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it don't matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid of the itch.

Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and pretend we're having a "relationship" when it's NOTHING but a booty

call. Come on, ladies, y'all know I'm telling the truth.

Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you knew us or what we're about. Having sex with a man does not automatically make that a "relationship." Many women will deny they

think like this but I'm speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that make?

Why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The "other woman" is not breaking up a "happy home".

Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle didn't change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long.

Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to "rewarding" unfaithful men by pretending it isn't happening. All of us Black Men (BM) do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don't buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men WILL cheat if there are NO real penalties for it.

Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON'T KNOW. That means fewer opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle. Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women.

OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don't be so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT.

Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. Stop INTERPRETING the meaning of what he says to fit your purposes. If he says, "I'm not looking' for nothing right now" -- DON'T tell yourself, "Aw, he just scared of getting hurt. I can change his mind.." NO YOU CAN'T. He said exactly what he meant. BM don't have to lie when so many BW are already DEAF.

If you can't answer BASIC questions about a man DON'T OPEN YOUR LEGS. I could kinda understand back in the days when sex wouldn't KILL people but now? There's no excuse and if a BW takes that huge risk of sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself -- sexually AND emotionally.

Show our ___ to the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don't be afraid to be alone. After you give our ____ some you will probably be alone anyway but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your

time and check us out. If we REALLY like you, we'll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or
another date just because you had sex with us. That's not how it works, baby.

I have TOO many female friends who give me horror stories that could have been avoided if they'd done their homework first OR moved SLOWER before giving up the panties. I try as a BM to give them the best
advice I can but that won't mean a _____ thing if BW continue to live in a dream world. You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the same as I am. Blaming the man won't change a ____ thing. BW have to look in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what's wrong with BM/BW relationships.

Let me end by saying....

1. SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP
2. GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO. 
3. A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODY. 
4. IF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF.
5. IF HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM?
6. IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS?
7. BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. NO, YOUR STUFF IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT!

BW are going to have to raise their standards if they expect BM to do it. The question is, are my beautiful BW up to the challenge? Are you willing to be strong and stop taking the easy way out?

Thoughts?